I am a monster. Hate me. Destroy me.

The end.

2007-06-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

After 26 posts (this being the 26th), this blog has ended.

Yep, I've moved to LJ!

http://heytheremelissa.livejournal.com

See ya there!

Oops I did it again.

2007-06-20T22:00:00.001+08:00

This might be my very last post on this blog.

I'm moving to LJ (livejournal)!!

I've already gotten the address and account, but nothing's up there yet, so I'll reveal my new blog once I get the time to work my magic at LJ :]

Yah, yah. I know.

Those of you who've known me for long enough would know about my incurable fondness for changing my blog addresses.

HAHAHA!

I think I've had...err...around 5 different addresses before?

*shakes head*

My personal favourite was actually noonereallycaresaboutyourteenageangst.

Yup, I've been a fan of ridiculously long blog addresses since godknowswhen (well, actually since P!ATD came to my life LOL).

Hmm, these days I've been locked up (not really) at home studying.

Not really mugging, because at this point of time, my subjects don't require that.

It's a very refreshing change from my secondary school double science days, when 'studying' involved me staring blankly (between falling asleep very unglam-ly at my study chair) at the symbols and numerals until they somehow get absorbed into my memory.

One word.

BORING!

But now, wow. Studying's very different.

Of course, it's still stressful and (sometimes) sleep inducing, but the interest for the subjects are just there (but erm, not really for maths...sorry Mr Chow!!!) and the notes are very interesting, so to me, it's really not mugging at all.

That's why if I don't score well this time (or TAL-ME...H2 econs faculty inside joke, sorry), it's not because I don't want to study...it's just that I really don't know how to answer the bloody question!!! (I hope someone of importance stumbles upon this.)

So yeah, there it is.

AHHH I can't wait till the exams are over...I've already written of stuff to do!!

Well, at least I've got something to look forward to. To me, if there's nothing to look forward to, there's no point in living.

I'm dead serious.

Oh yes, I'll leave you with something Enqi, Althea, Bhavna and I came up with on FAPS that day using those magnetic words thingys :]

Just in case you can't see properly, it says 'Skip school & philosophy lecture too. Education is a lunch weed. Bust me brain. Skip college...but I like art & kopi! Y blow the dumb coffee? Drink beer.'

I added punctuation marks to make the sentences more effective :]

Haha ciao people, mwah!

Shizz.

2007-06-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

Okay...after the serious posts, here comes the pictures!

These are taken by me at the FAPS Photo Race, two weeks ago.

Taken outside Tampines Mall...right after we kena scolded for taking pictures at Macs.

Taken in an MRT...I love using the shutter speed function!!

A closeup of the sole of Johan's shoe, a candidate for our 'Orange' theme.

Flowers, along Orchard Road. Another candidate for our 'Orange' theme.

An orange, literally. Taken at Cold Storage in Taka.

Jars of tomato paste, if I didn't remember wrongly.

Who knew 100 plus bottles were so alluring?

CHEESE!!

CHEESE (again)!! My group members and I :]

A filled dustbin. Taken at godknowswhere on the way to Arab Street.

Random ones I snapped.

My personal favourite...isn't it nostalgic?

Althea's back. I like this a lot too.

Yup, we took so many pictures!

But it was rad...I love just going round taking random pictures now! Whoot!

I also love the fact that all the pictures turn out somewhat awesome because of the good quality of the camera haha!

Oh yes.

Quaker Baked Apple granola bars are the shit.

Really!

They're only 90 calories (good for a serial-snackers-on-a-diet like myself) per bar, taste AMAZING, handy and...

...make good camwhoring objects.

So BHB right?

Haha. I'm surprised at myself too.

Oh yes, a few of us went back to school on Tuesday to shift out all the stuff from the FAPS room cuz the counselling people wanna take over it.

WTFH, I know.

Anyway, it was so fun clearing up all the old negatives and pictures...I even kapo-ed some and brought them home!

I almost stole a tie, but Miss Norzian told me that we couldn't :[

I still stole an old FAPS collar pin, though!

I'll wear that on my uniform, fo shizzle. Remember to check it out!

Till then, cheerio!

Worry.

2007-06-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

WORRY [wur-ee, whur-ee]
to torment oneself with cares, anxieties, etc. or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret; trouble; plague

Is the word good or bad?

Should we worry, or not?

Well, I decided to do this post because it dawned onto me that every decision we make is somehow linked to our worries and fears for the worst.

I myself am quite a worrywart.

I worry about my studies, my friends, my family, my life, people's impressions of me...and I even worry that I'll end up dumbfounded when I order something from a coffeeshop and have to use my half-past-six Mandarin to make an order to the Chinese educated uncle or auntie.

I worried for my O Levels so much that before every paper, I had nightmares of me dying in a different way...EVERY NIGHT.

No idea why, though.

I promised myself to stay calm and just do the papers to the best of my ability...and I was calm.

But I suppose subconsciously, I still worried.

So once the O Levels were over, I decided to have a change in attitude.

I used to care and fret over TONS of stuff, even worried about things that I very well knew I couldn't change, no matter how much I wished.

I remember when I used to rant about everything.

Geez. I was a fireball.

And it wasn't good for me or for anyone else around me.

So right now, the Melissa you're seeing is the (considerably) more apathetic one.

But enough about me.

I just hate it when everyone's so dogged down by worries that nothing gets done and everyone just ends up getting insomnia, wrinkles and high blood pressure.

I'm not saying that we should be totally apathetic and not worry at all, but worry in moderation.

What's the use of just sitting there worrying about the worst that could happen?

Might as well just weigh the possibilities of a mishap or mistake and look at the matter logically and calmly, right?

Of course, this is the idealist in me speaking once again.

Of course, I worry too.

Of course, I might even be contradicting myself.

But it's just frustrating when people around me keep throwing their worries to me, expecting me to compromise and give up something I wish to do so badly just so that they won't worry.

(I won't elaborate, because I know that the worry is all out of love and concern, but seriously, the probability of a mishap is LOW.)

What could I do?

I can't possibly go round pretending that I'm fine. That'll make me a hypocrite.

But, I can't possibly go round sulking too. That'll make me a brat.

I want to live my life to the fullest, but I also know the importance of responsibility to myself and others around me.

Ah, life's confusing like that.

Oh well, I'll leave that matter to time.

Till then, ciao.

I've got headaches, and bad luck but they couldn't touch you.

2007-06-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

Life's been good these days.

Just had a steamboat/bbq thing at my place with (part of) the crew...it was awesome catching up :]
Today, the WMRC had a study session at my place too...well, it wasn't as productive as I hoped, but it was rad.

I've been getting so many headaches (literally) these days that it's scaring my parents haha. I've consumed at least one Panadol a day for over the past week...I mean, I'm very prone to headaches, but it's kinda bad this time.

I told my mom that I probably have brain tumour or cancer or something...she went 'CHOY!' to me.

ROFL.

You know, I could blog about a lot of stuff that's happening around me...but I think I shall just keep all that for my personal diary and my close friends...I'd prefer not creating a whole cloud of controversy with whatever I post on my blog...blogs are too public.

Anyway, I just got my new phone today. Sony Ericsson K800i (in velvet black, duh!)

3.2 megapixel camera, dudes!

Hmm, I think that I should just leave this entry with this hilariously ridiculous music quiz shit thing I stole from WW's blog haha!

MUSIC QUIZ
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 5 ppl at their tagboard to ask them to do this!
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

How are you feeling today?
The Lover And The Liar by Chiodos.
Err...hmm. Kinda makes sense. Err...wait. Not really, no.

Will you get married?
Take Me Away by Avril Lavigne.
HAHAHA!! I wonder who would :]
What is your best friend's theme song?

What is the story of your life?
Who Knows by Avril Lavigne.
Haha...pretty true. Even I'm confused myself.

What was primary school like?
Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste by Norma Jean.
Err...doesn't make sense. NEXT!

How can you get ahead in life?
Blue Eyes Blue by Eric Clapton.
So...I gotta buy blue contacts?

What is the best thing about your friends?
Guess God Thinks I'm Abel by Oasis.
Riiiight.

What is in store for this weekend?
From The Inside by Linkin Park.
I'll be stuck at home or something? Ah, I guessed so...gotta study o_0

What song describes you?
Ain't It Fun by Guns N Roses.
This is both a compliment and insult. I'm fun, but I'm an 'it'?!?!?!

How is your life going?
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by The Scissor Sisters.
Yeah, basically cuz I can't dance.

What song will they play at your funeral?
In Moments Like These by some Christian choir.
Man! I was wishing for Helena by MCR. Oh well...I hope everyone doesn't mourn when I go. *watches everyone reel in laughter*

How does the world see you?
Crash And Burn by Simple Plan.
WHAAAAT?!

Will you have a happy life?
Alert The Audience by The Lawrence Arms.
...

What do your friends really think of you?
The Geeks Get The Girls by American Hi-fi.
WTFH?

Do people secretly lust after you?
Shores Of California by The Dresden Dolls.
...

How can I make myself happy?
The Take Over, The Break's Over by Fall Out Boy.
So I gotta get off my break and start working my ass off to take over something?

What should you do with your life?
Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan.
HAHAH! Make a movie/reality show on my life then?

Will you ever have children?
S.O.S by Good Charlotte.
OMGAH. Is this implying that my future husband (if he's even existing) or me is gonna have some fertility problem?! Or...does that mean that I'll be so bloody strict that it'll be what my kids would be saying?? Or...does that mean that my kids would be such little devils that I'll be screaming that with my other half? Yikes.

Haha that was fun...and an utter waste of time.

But hey, it's all good :]

Ciao for now, people. Stay happy.

And read WW's blog...it's insightful. (SEE! Not emo okay.)

Lame.

2007-06-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

Imagine this.

You've wanted this thing for the longest time.

You've dreamt about It, both in the day and night.

You've created little scenarios in your head of what you would say when people ask you about It in the future.

"I love It! I've never felt better...we're a match made in heaven!", you'd reply.

Oh, that feeling of bliss when you'll hold It to your pounding heart.

You cross out the days on your calendar till the day It'll be yours.

All yours.

Thoughts of It flood your mind and you think of nothing else.

You keep a picture of It in your wallet, iPod, computer, car, bathroom...and your heart.

You ask if it's love, or just infatuation.

You're not sure. But you don't really bother.

On the last night of eager anticipation, you stare at the cross filled calendar.

Oh, how many teary eyed gazes it had endured from you.

"Thanks, for being here for me. You've taunted me time and time again by making me waiting so long, so long. But it'll soon be over, and I thank you for teaching me patience." with that, you take the black marker that's so familiar to you and draw a firm 'x'.

You lie in your (now) lonely bed and give a resounding sigh.

How slowly the past months crawled by.

There were days when you felt that you wanted to throw in the towel.

Your heart felt a whip lash across it whenever you see someone else with their own.

How blessed they looked.

How much you envied them.

But you knew your day would come.

All you had to do...was wait.

You looked out for possible candidates, but in vain.

They were either too unfriendly, too aesthetically unpleasing or just plain overrated.

But that very fateful day arrived.

That day, you noticed It.

It took your breath away.

Its charm, Its intellect, Its good looks...It was the epitome of perfection.

You knew It was THE ONE.

THE ONE that people say only appears once in your lifetime.

From that day on, you worked towards It, getting to know It better, loving It more and more each day, after day, after day...

Your eyelids are getting heavier.

You know it's time for you to rest.

It's going to be one hell of an emotional, life changing day tomorrow...

You wake up to the warm beams of the sun caressing your face.

You jump out of bed, get dressed and head out.

You take light, brisk steps.

The feeling is so surreal.

You run into a stranger and he gives you a smile.

The whole world seems to smile when you're happy.

You step into the designated place and you feel like you're floating on cloud nine.

The time had finally arrived.

You wait expectantly for those special words...and that special package.

And then the words are dropped...

Like a bomb.

You can't believe your ears.

No.

This cannot be true.

Your mind is frozen.

You can't think straight.

You can't even cry.

You ask again.

The answer refuses to budge...

"I'm sorry...but...THAT PHONE MODEL YOU'RE REQUESTING IS NO LONGER IN PRODUCTION!".

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

GOTCHA!!!

Were you thinking of something else?

Sheesh.

I got inspiration for this spur of the moment thing because I was supposed to get a new phone today cuz my current one screws up quite a bit...BUT I realised I have to wait six more days till the 21 month contract's over...so I can pay less for a new one.

HAHA!!

I was so looking forward to one, though.

Oh well.

Six days to go!!

Not another rant.

2007-06-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SUFFOCATED WITH AN ONSLAUGHT OF EMO(TIONAL) RANTS FROM THE UGLY, VULGAR, MOODY SIDE OF MELISSA, PLEASE DON'T READ ON. KTHNX.

Okay, so I suppose you (yes, you) have decided to continue reading on.

Well, you've been warned.

So the whole of today I've been in a pissy mood.

Yeah Melissa the 'emo kid' had made a comeback.

I woke up tired and didn't even want to give proper replies to anyone.

I just wanted to be all alone.

In silence.

With no one to tell me stuff I don't give a flying f**k about.

(See, I told you my vulgar side has prevailed.)

Anyway, I went for mass in church and that made me feel a bit better.

After that, I got home and dyed my hair (supposed to be medium golden brown, but the change ain't obvious. BLOODY DYES!) and went online for a while.

Talked to WW and Ros.

My mood was pretty good then.

For dinner, my dad decided to bring my mom and me to that Hong Kong Cafe we had been to a while ago.

When we got there, this woman sitting in a table next to us just gave me this look.

That kind that makes you want to slap her.

That sort of 'omg-look-at-me-I'm-so-much-better-than-you' look.

I don't know what the hell I did for her to look at me that way.

But I just gave random glares back.

(I'm pretty pro in that sorta shit. I'm not proud.)

I thanked God when they switched tables for us and we got to sit inside. Far away from that douchebag.

Anyway, Mom had been going on and on about how I should lose weight and yeah, she's pretty obsessed with going to the gym and eating healthy.

(I put on weight the time my parents weren't around so I guess I should lose some.)

So anyway, I (unhappily) had to order some lame unshiok shit.

I got Seafood Chowder and a polo bun.

I thought the chowder (which was $4.80) would be quite filling but when the bowl came, I was like 'F**king hell! Bloody rip off!'

It was as large as the bowls that they give you at other restaurants for the soup that comes with the set meals!

The pieces of 'seafood' were so bloody tiny.

Hell, they weren't even pieces, they were more like bits.

The polo bun was good. That was the only saving grace.

It was only 90 cents.

Like WTF right?

So then I ordered a drink. It was supposed to be some ice blended mango shit with bits of pomelo and mango. The picture made it look promising.

3 bucks.

It sucked.

I had to dig (for long periods of time, mind you) for minute bits of mango and it was such a rip off.

There was more ice and (very probably) mango essence than anything else.

Might as well buy bubble tea right?!

Oh, talking about bubble tea, I got this Honeydew and Sago dessert in a bubble tea cup that day at Tampines MRT.

It was damn good.

And it was $1.50.

At the end of the meal, my parents and I were like 'Such a rip off. We shan't go there anymore...maybe only for the polo bun.'

Honestly, that cafe gets a whole lot of publicity from the media and all that but it's seriously too expensive.

Some of the food there is good, but the rest are really average.

And the prices, whoa, don't go there when you don't want to burn a hole in your pocket.

Enough about food.

Right now, my knee hurts like hell and I'm having a fever (again).

Gahhh.

Add that on to the weirdass fatigue spells I've been getting.

I'll still do some of my maths, though.

I realise I've been slacking off a whole week.

That ain't good.

So I shall stop my rant here.

I hope tomorrow would be a better day.

*thinks happy thoughts*

YES, IT WILL.

Pig.

2007-05-31T22:40:00.000+08:00

My sleep patterns are seriously screwed up.

I slept at 2am and woke up at 2pm. (Big deal, I can hear some of you go.)

I opened my eyes today, took a peek at my clock (Winnie the Pooh, I'm ashamed to say that), saw I that it was 2pm and I just shouted 'WHAT THE F**K!'.

HAHA.

I didn't really care to censor myself at that point of time...plus, the parentals aren't at home.

HAHA.

But they're coming back tomorrow at 7.45pm!!

Yeah, freedom is awesome and all, but I realised that I'm not really a person who could survive all alone at home.

But I thank all my amazing friends/neighbours/relatives for their company and concern this whole week when I'm at home.

I LOVE YOU ALL!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!!

Okay, random explosion of affection aside, I feel that it's time for the long overdue pictures of the Navy Open House/Runway.

Maybe I'll put in some random pictures in too. Wootage!

(Above) Sonia and me on the bus. She wanted to camwhore so that her new phone won't feel so empty :]

(Above) View from the window in the massive ship we had a tour of.

(Above) From inside the ship. Someone *cough*WW*cough* seemed to enjoyed it a whole lot eh?

(Above) Taken while we came out of the ship. The inside was amazing, may I say.

(Below) We took a ride in this ship-ish thingy. It was EXACTLY like the one they used in MCR's The Ghost of You video!! It was raaaaaad.

(Below) I'm getting pretty lazy about adding captions to all the pictures and blogger's a douche when it comes to uploading pictures cuz of the damned extra spaces that magically appear when I add a picture (HEARD THAT, blogger.com?)...SO, I'll just put them up :]

Yep. That's it for the Navy Open House (there are actually lots more)...now for the Runway!!

I was the makeup woman for Sufie and got my liquid eyeliner 'stolen' by some other contestant. BOOHOO!!

The inverted commas are because she didn't mean to steal it...she just borrowed and forgot to return it.

I think.

Anyway, when I was done, I went back into the audi and sat with the twins :]

It was nice catching up.

The show was really good. I was impressed!

And congrats to Jacq for winning second place!! So proud of her *wipes tear*...but I know someone else's even MORE proud of her. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Anyway, some personal pictures with Sufie/twins/Bibble!!

Yeah, if the pictures all look 'posed' (like someone mentioned before HAHA), the truth is, they are.

HAHA. My crew and I are such camwhores.

Uhm...some random pictures, perhaps?

(Above) The old school. Ahh. Memories :]

(Below) Mouth watering food, courtesy of the neighbour.

I just realised how busy I am/was.

I had so many events!!

Tampines Town Council Night, Choir Concert, various going outs with friends, visit to Ros's house today...

Oh yes!!

I must mention this.

Today, when I went to Ros's place, I got intro-ed to her grandma and grandaunt and her grandma was like (in Hokkien) 'Why is your friend so small?'

HAHA!!!

Then she asked me to come closer and asked (all in Hokkien) 'Why are you so small sized? Did your mum feed you enough?'

Funny thing number 1: I don't understand Hokkien (except for the vulgarities) so I just stood there smiling like a total dork and looked at Ros for translations.

Funny thing number 2: I was thinking 'OMG I THINK I'M GROWING FATTER AND LARGER AND SHE'S SAYS I'M SMALL!!!'. Honestly, I thought she'll ask if my mum fed me TOO MUCH, not TOO LITTLE.

Ohmaigou I almost died laughing.

Alright, I think I'll end here.

Ciao!!

Psycho.

2007-05-29T05:05:00.000+08:00

I am seriously nuts.

I didn't sleep a wink at all (bascially doing my TSD stuff that I put off till now. I'm NOT proud.) and I don't plan on sleeping today.

And I've got my FAPS Exco interview at 10.30am. ROFL. It'll be super funny.

Then I'll be doing PW GPP after that.

Imagine the amazing output I'll provide.

Wow.

Anyway, went to meet up with Ros at Macs today in our attempt to finish our TSD journals and assignments. Felt pretty cheated cuz we spent 99% of the time talking ROFL. (I ditched my friends' invitation to watch POTC 3 for it, sob sob.)

I got coffee number one:

...it was sub-standed. Why am I not surprised?

In an attempt for her to concentrate, Ros took out her Ronan Keating album:

...apparently, he helped her through the O Level A Maths times.

Ahh...those times.

Then, WW came to join us.

The TSD situation didn't get any better ROFL.

WW decided to be creative and bought a large Sprite and an ice cream cone to make a float.

It was pretty amusing. I even took a video of it (kinda) fizzling.

Here's a picture of it:

...at the same time, I got coffee number two aka cappucino:

...I seriously thought it sucked.

It didn't even compare up to kopitiam kopi (which, I think, is one of the best).

I was disappointed. But I needed my caffine.

In a last ditch effort, Ros took out her 'FOCUS!' card:

...but sorry, hun. It doesn't work :p

Sonia then smsed me to tell me she saw Bibble and the twins at the cinema.

ROFL! What a coincidence!

We told her we were attempting to do our TSD and she came to join us.

Soon after, we were chased out.

We then went to the library.

And this really freaky dude was sitting at a couch near our table being really weird.

Srsly.

His shirt was half buttoned.

He was sneezing and wiping his whatits on his shirt.

He looked like a total wreck.

He had a laptop and kept giggling at smiling sadistically at it.

We guessed it was porn.

But when he put his laptop down and went to walk around for a while, we peeped and realised it was a forum...or was that what he wants us to think?

Anyway, whenever he walked past me, I srsly shivered.

Like the four times he walked past, I shivered and prayed he won't have an outburst or godknowswhat.

I felt so vulnerable.

Just like on Sunday, when I was stranded at a bus stop till past midnight all alone and had to walk to the main road to hail a cab (which took forever to come).

I felt so vulnerable I almost cried.

Thinking back, I felt kinda wimpy.

But I guess my extreme fatigue and effects of being all alone w/o my parents waiting at home got into me.

Oh well.

TOUGHEN UP, MELISSA!!

Right, I think I'd better get off now.

Maybe I'll watch tv till it's time to go to school or something.

ROFL.

Oh yes, I was wary of 3:00 AM, "witching hour" which evil spirits use to mock the Holy Trinity. Significantly, it is the opposite of 3:00 PM, traditionally taken to be the hour at which Jesus died.

On the stroke of 3:00 AM, a black grasshopper/locust/whatsit flew into my room.

I was thinking of the significance of a locust and the colour black.

I don't know, but I freaked out.

So I listened to some Christian songs to feel more at ease and said a prayer for protection.

Maybe I'm just being ridiculous, but I was srsly scared.

I need a rosary.

I've not been saying it enough.

The one Auntie Irene gave for my Confirmation is too tiny haha.

I shall go buy one at Holy Trinity tomorrow :]

Alright, that's enough of me.

Ciao!

New music, yo.

2007-05-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

Okay...I know I'm supposed to come up with a super long blog entry with lots and lots of pictures of the Navy Open House and TPJC Runway, but...I digress.

I went to HMV after over (a very, very painful) two months with Bibbles today and man, was I happy :]

I was tempted to buy so many albums...I think my wishlist amounted to around 10? Haha...but I had to cut down...so I spent a good one hour doing so.

In the end, I settled on three that I never really intended to buy before I entered.

I got:

I've just listened to them all and they're AMAZING.

The last one was a surprise cuz I never really bothered to pay any attention to them...until I heard them being played over the speakers in HMV.

Gosh, I was hooked.

Almost bought:

...and a few others more...but I'm too tired right now to find the pictures HAHA.

Tomorrow's gonna be another busy day.

Meeting with CX and WW at Bedok Library in the morning and then I'll be heading to the twins' house to watch POTC 2...then I'll be going back to Tampines interchange for that Town Council celebration.

CX, WW and I have volunteered to be the assistant stage managers.

Miss Norzian made it sound pretty daunting, but I'm stoked, either way.

Alright, I'll stop here, ciao!

"Mama, we're all gonna die."

(Soon to be) TGIF!

2007-05-24T20:08:00.000+08:00

AHHHH.

The last week of term is said to be the busiest and hell yeah, it is.

Firstly, our class is so bloody tiny that the econs teacher's like 'Is the attendance always this poor for this class?'. ROFL.

And, our makan/crap talking table is SUPER empty.

It used to be bursting with people!

Now, even our bags have seats to themselves.

Ah.

Plus, those of us who are left in school have so much stuff to catch up with.

Thankfully, our maths subject test is over.

Tomorrow is gonna be rad, I tell you.

Lessons are as per normal but after school, we have a Navy Open House to go to!!

We even get to ride on those cool ships they use!!

Then after that's over, we have the TPJC Runway to attend!!

I'm going to help Bibble and Sufie out. They wanted me to bring all my accessories cuz appararently, every one of mine are rock-themed...and that's what they want for the design.

I've gotta do rock-ish makeup for Sufie too.

Whoa, since when was I considered an expert?

But, I'm not complaining, though :]

Mom and Dad would be away from early tomorrow morning till next Friday.

Mom's been stuffing all the household matters (how to operate the washing machine, etc) to me. HAHA!!

And she's bought lots of food for me to cook.

I think I'll end up eating pasta almost everyday...whoohoo!!

Something even funnier would be the fact that she put up post-its at all the important places so that I won't forget.

HAHA!!

I think she really doesn't trust my memory. (Actually, I don't trust my own memory either)

Check these out:

HAHAH!!

And see what our conversation just now consisted of:

Mom: Remember to lock and close the door when you go out ah.

Me: Of course lah! How can I forget such stuff?

Mom: I don't know...you might be SO excited to go out that you just run out and forget to do so.

Me: 0_o

Mom: And remember to call Daddy if you have any problem ah. The time is the same in China.

Me: Okay...even if the house has been robbed?

Mom: 0_o

ROFL.

Alrighty then, I better get off and finish up my TSD journal or Miss Norzian's gonna kill me.

Ciao!

Aww.

2007-05-21T21:25:00.000+08:00

(Back row: Ros, Steph, WW, Conan)
(Front row: Jacq, Gissy, Ernie, Bhav, Me, CX)

Ain't that the sweetest thing?

It was taken during Midsummer's Night Dream on Friday. Btw, the show was AMAZINGGG.

I don't know where the other pictures are, though. I think Miss Norzian and Bhavna haven't uploaded them yet. We camwhored HAHA!!

I MISS THE PRE U SEM PEOPLE!! (esp CX :])

Hmm.

Waiwan says I shouldn't say 'Aw' too much.

But how can I resist when he and *ahem* are so...cute?

Cannot lah!

Aw. (WW, eat your heart out!)

GO WAIWAN!! WE'RE ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

MWAHAHAHA. I'm so evil.

And so dead.

Break out! Break out!

2007-05-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

You know, ever since I got a new layout, I've been itching to blog more...just to keep up with the radness of it all.

HAHA!

Uhm, currently I'm TRYING to figure out how the heck I'm gonna start on my TSD assignment.

UHHHHHH. HOW TO DO???!!!

I think I'll just use my (overused) powers of crapping to get through it. Waiwan told me that Miss Norzian was contemplating an extension...but I know I've still gotta do it by today...but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

And I'm feeling stressed (wait a minute, since when was I NOT stressed?) about the stuff coming up. They warned us that the last week of the term was the busiest.

I could not disagree more.

Let's see what I have to do:

1) TSD Assignment

2) TSD Journal (long long long not updated)

3) Literature Presentation shit (I'm doing it with Ros online tonight, though)

4) Study for Maths Faculty Test (WHERE THE HELL DID ALL MY A MATHS KNOWLEDGE GO TO?!?!?!?)

5) Catch up on Econs (I'm super behind on Firms and all that shit)

6) Complete reading The Handmaid's Tale (which won't be tough) and Great Expectations (just saying the title makes me sleepy...God save me)

Uhh...that's all that I can remember now.

I've SO gotta take up the holidays for revising.

AND, the Pre U Seminar people won't be around THE WHOLE WEEK.

ZOMG. The class is gonna be so empty.

AHHH I'll miss them all!!

Anyway, to digress a bit, I've been hearing quite a bit about this shop 'Pinkberry' in the US and I was curious (and obviously bored) and went to find out more about it.

It was founded by a Korean lady, named Hyekyung Hwang (a.k.a. Shelly).

WHOA. Azn pride, yo.

Here's how she looks like:

And, my God. The description of the menu was so bloody hunger pang- inducing lah.

Read this:

"...It's a frozen yogurt shop that serves actual frozen yogurt. Nonfat selections include plain and green tea (flavored with real green tea powder from the Japanese market, with all the benefits). Both are complemented by fresh fruits like mango, blueberries, and watermelon.

For sugar lovers, there are plenty of traditional toppings like chocolate chips, Fruity or Cocoa Pebbles, Cap'n Crunch, and even the occasional Cinnamon Toast Crunch. There are smoothies, too.

For the lactose intolerant or uninterested, there’s shaved ice topped with homemade syrup, fruit, yogurt, and chewy mochi."

And here are pictures:

The last picture is so ironic. HAHA!

Yeah, so I had cravings for frozen yogurt (it's low fat whoo!) and I went to the trusty neighbourhood NTUC Fairprice to find some.

Alas, it was no where in sight.

So I decided to make some of my own!

I got Ski Divine's Wild Strawberry:

It's amazing by itself already, I'm telling you.

So I took out a bit and put it into my freezer.

After about half an hour, it looked like this:

The sides were all frozen but the middle was still kinda flowy. But it was soooooooo delicious.

You know, I think I should open a frozen yogurt shop alongside the coffee joint I'm planning (and I WILL) open when I get a good capital.

Young Entreprenuer of The Year Award, here I come!

ROFL!

I changed my bedsheets too.

Goodbye black/white:

Hello, err...colours:

Funny thing is how the bedsheet's colours look a lot like those on my sofa:
They're both from Ikea, though. So..not much of a surprise there.

Yeah. I think I better end here.

Gotta start on my TSD and enjoy my muruku:

HAHA I'm so lame!

I love how the colours came out, though.

Ciao!

**UPDATE ON MY FROZEN YOGURT**

I failed.

Terribly.

After a few hours of basking in my 'resourcefulness' and clearing my trophy cabinet (imaginary, of course) in light of my future Young Entreprenuer Award, my frozen yogurt plan died.

Well, it came out harder than expected. (oh my God it sounds so wrong)

It's now more of like frozen popsicles.

Pictures, much?

Oh, and for the pictures with the spoon, I was DIGGING with all my strength.

At least it's still edible.

My mom thought that I'll get food poisoning and die or something.

ROFL.

Faith. Hope. Love.

2007-05-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

Wow.

So much happened.

Nothing bad, actually. Life rips these days.

But, I've been talking to my dear MOB members (WW and CX) and we've been talking about the 'demons' in ourselves.

Sounds familiar?

I covered that in my post last year and early this year.

I exorcised my demons and now I'm a brand new person.

The Melissa everyone sees now is a new one.

One full of hope, faith and love.

Those three words mean the world to me.

I recently found out in a book on Christianity that those are the words that all Christians should live by.

And I could not agree less.

They're a trinity.

Without any one of them in us, we won't ever be satisfied or be living our lives to the fullest.

Ah, life.

Anyway, I was browsing news sites and came across this line in a particular article in TIME (Why Scandals Stick. by Nancy Gibbs).

"If there is an antidote to hypocrisy, it's humility: just admitting the possibility of weakness can be a source of strength. As any number of fallen icons can testify, the arrogant and the righteous have the most trouble finding forgiveness when the mistake, duly confessed, is their own."

I don't know how much relation there is to what I was saying, but I just loved it so much.

I hope everyone ponders over it too.

Mwah.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger.

2007-04-21T23:43:00.000+08:00

Ahhh yes.

THAT phrase.

My favourite one of all time.

I used to think it was something only 'act macho' people say..but at this point of time, I'm a believer of it. (You know, in secret, I'm hoping that I won't end up being a bloody hypocrite and end up having the rest of my blog posts being long rants. Like my previous blogs in secondary school. Oh, how history repeats itself.)

Anyway, this is gonna be my motto to live by.

It has been, ever since my long long long reflection time after the O Levels.

Ahh, I felt so alive after that period. (I still feel alive now, thank you very much.)

You know what's freaky?

I actually ENJOY doing work now.

I've been staying up super late to finish whatever (of course, I had little skive sessions here and there..hey, I'm only human.) stuff I have.

That also explains my horrifying consumption of coffee these days and my panda eyes.

A 'dimunitive zombie', that's me. Hehe.

Anyway, life's been very interesting and never ceases to surprise me. And that's why I thank God for life every night.

Maybe I'm saying all these optimistic stuff cuz my life is good..but I believe that if you throw something unfortunate at the present me, I would probably take it so much better as compared to how the old me would have taken it.

So right now, I'm saying to everyone reading this:

Be strong. Life sucks balls and people give you shit at times, but at least you're still living. Every living day is a chance to make your life better (and to prove shit talking douches wrong).

*horribly fake Hong Kong-er accent* OH MY GOUUUU!!! SO INSPIRED!

I know, I've shocked myself too.

Mwah.

Sup, camwhore.

2007-04-09T21:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah yeah. It's me.

Been too damn busy to update on my boring life..so I'd rather let the pictures speak for themselves.

These were taken from Preethi's dinner on Saturday..fun times, fun times.

The food was amaaaaazzzinngggg too..but my mouth was on fire at the end of it all haha!

Yep.

Camwhoring to the max.

68 images in my phone alone.

Brace yourself!

Mwah.

I must be 'emo'. Not.

2007-03-25T14:35:00.000+08:00

In response to the purely idiosyncratic article The Straits Times published on emo kids ("Parents, beware the emo kids" - ST, March 19), I decided to say my piece.

Warning: It's pretty lousy, because I am currently sick. Thank you.

I refer to the article, "Parents, beware of emo kids" (ST, March 19), in which so called 'emo kids' deliberately harm themselves just so that they can fit in and look cool.

I am seventeen this year and I hope to say my piece on this issue, because I have been (and still am) called 'emo'.

Why so?

Well, I have what they call an 'emo fringe', I love my black band tees and my eyeliner...and most of all, I listen to 'emo music'. I do not blame people who judge me, but I sincerely hope that this stereotype would not be warped any further, because I am very sure that many other teens like me who listen to 'emo music' and who dress 'emo' do not self mutilate like some others do.

But firstly, I think everyone should get the true meaning of the term correct. The term 'emo' actually refers to a sub-genre of rock music, not some label that teenagers these days associate it with.

Now, it sounds oh so ironic that I am saying all this when I myself dress 'emo', but the point is, I only dress this way because I feel that it is the best way to express who I really am, not because I am desperately trying to be an 'emo kid'.

Next, I completely agree with Miss Taina Teravainen ("Teens Distort Meaning of Emo", Sunday Times, March 25), that emo bands such as My Chemical Romance have been grossly misunderstood.

Personally, I am a huge fan of My Chemical Romance and they were, in fact, the ones that made my angsty teenage self so much less conflicted. They have made me a stronger, more confident person and have cheered me up whenever I was down.

The band also constantly pleads fans to not self mutilate and gives out very positive messages to respect others, a polar opposite on what some 'emo kids' interpret their songs to be. I feel that 'emo kids' take the lyrics too literally.

Lastly, I am a firm believer that 9 out of 10 of these self proclaimed 'emos' have strong, stable family backgrounds and really have nothing to complain about. Of course, I would sound like a total hypocrite if I said that I had not wallowed in self pity just for the sake of doing so, but thankfully, I managed to clear my head just in time to prevent myself from doing anything stupid.

Fitting in is the main focus during the teenage years, so I do not criticise any of these 'emos' for doing all this. I mean, who does not want to feel like they belong somewhere? But I hope that they can finally see the light and realise that self mutilation or self pity does not bring themselves anywhere and would only make their teen years ones of retardation, and not progression into finding out who they really are deep inside.

Yep. That's what I sent into the forum.

Told you it was awful.

I'm off now.

BTW Ash, ILYours more :]

The streets are in distress. The sun suffocates behind darkened skies.

2007-03-15T11:17:00.000+08:00

These few weeks I've been feeling happy. Feeling all optimistic and 'ain't no stopping me now'.

Not like that's a bad thing. I mean, it really did help me to feel better and everything.

But I stopped thinking.

I had an 'emo' (retarded term, but whatever) relapse yesterday when I was online.

It hit me like an oncoming train.

I feel like such a douchebag for getting 'emo' cuz there really isn't much to wallow in self pity about, but my old mindset flooded my mind again. Plus, my throbbing headache didn't help much.

When I went offline, I went to take a panadol for my head.

Then I had all those morbid desires coming back again.

I used to (and sometimes still do) have a sadistic edge.

It's pretty scary, really. I think I've got some split personality disorder or something. Eeeep.

I've wanted to take anti depressants (I once asked my mom if I should prescribe them). I've wanted to get so drunk that I forget everything. I've wanted to cut myself. I've wanted to do everything other douches like me think of doing.

The reason why I went sXe was also because I have what I call M.A.D. (Morbidly Addictive Disorder). You see, when I get hooked on something, I just can't get off it. And most of the time, these things I get hooked on are self destructive. Yeah, this is me.

Thankfully for me, I've never done anything much to harm myself. I've never cut myself, gotten high on drugs or alcohol. I really thank God and MCR for that. If it weren't for both, I'd probably be a total wreck.

If you're wondering what's up with all this 'self pitying narcissism', I think it's the influence of MCR (particularly The Black Parade) on me.

Gerard mentioned that for writing the album, he had to dig up all his insides (not literally) and place them on an operating table.

I do that all the time and I can really find out how ugly (again, not literally) some parts of me are.

All my evil thoughts, unfair judgements, etc.

Some people see it as 'not embracing who you are', but if you don't criticise yourself and try to correct all your bad points, what's there to embrace?

With that, I shall end this post.

Oh, if you've got the time, go catch MCR's new video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO9Lj0T93Xk

It's EPIC.

MWAH!

I'm not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress.

2007-03-05T18:53:00.000+08:00

I know that I very well should be blogging and posting up pictures of the FOB gig on Saturday, but I've not got all the pictures from Joe/Aaron/Bibbles/whoever so...be patient.

Anyway, these few weeks have been...odd. Yeah, well. My mind's been open to more things that I've not been really exposed to before.

Without going into any details or naming names, I just decided to put some song lyrics up. MCR, of course. (I just LOVE how MCR seems to have a song to fit every mood I'm in.)

This REALLY, REALLY represents what I'm feeling now.

So...erm...happy guessing!

I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

AMEN.

For all the dirty looks...

2007-02-16T21:56:00.000+08:00

"...the photographs your ~~boyfriend~~ best friend took"

I was looking through the pictures I took with the crew aka BFFs and they were so cute! So I decided to post some up. This is only maybe 5% of the total pictures taken. Sup, camwhores.

ZOMG. We look ridiculous. W/ Gina, Germ, Von.

AWWWW. The fools :]

SO EMO! HAHAHA! W/ Germ and Bibbles.

Grad Night. So pretty lah! (L-R: Pearlyn, Germ, Bibbles, Gina)

Grad Night again. W/ Bhavna.

Me and Sufie at the museum lavatory. We're just too cool.

WE LOVE THE MUSEUM AND ITS MAGNETIC WALL!!

I took this picture. Ain't it amazing? HAHA. Clockwise from left: Preethi, Germ, Von, Pearlo, Gina, Sufie, Bibbles.

Sufie and I look like little boys.

Me, Preethi, Fan.

ROFL, Bibbles!

Aww. The crew minus Preethi and Bhavna.

I'm so gangsta!

W/ Pearlo the birthday girl!!

W/ Sufie at Pizza Hut. We look drunk.

GROUP MIRROR PICTURE!!

W/ Bibbles. We decided to try dresses one day.

W/ Bhavna.

After the O level results. THE ENTIRE CREW. WHOOOT!

ZE END. (For now)

Kill All Your Friends

2007-02-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

"You were always born a crime,
We salute you in your grave."

I've been lazy in updating. Mwahahaha.

Anyway, life's been awesome. My life in JC is super fun and I've made amazing new friends. My O level results was...satisfactory. 1 A1 + 6 A2s + 1 B3 = 11 points.

The irony lies in the fact that my A Math was my best subject. WTH!

My combined humanities grade was B3.

Aaaaaaaaaand, to top it all off, my physics grade was A2.

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!?!?!

My WORST, and may I say it again, WORST, subject was ON PAR with my other better subjects!

God, the only time I passed physics was during the prelims. And it wasn't a good pass, at all.

Hold on. Did I even pass? ROFL. I don't really care.

Anyway, I'm sticking my ass in TPJC. WHOOT!

*goes into random mode*

Okay, a general observation from others about me.

I look fierce/emo when I do not smile.

I suppose I do. My parents look fierce when they don't smile too. Plus, I don't have random strangers coming up to say hi (hello Sufie). It's good in a way because I don't have to worry about spending a bulk of my allowance donating to 82384982989434 different organisations while walking through the bus interchange. It's not that I'm not generous, because I love helping the poor, but there is a limit to what I can donate. Plus, it's not even my money.

Oh, and the emo thing. Geez. I'm not emo. I don't cut myself (in fact, I never did). And I'm straight edge so you won't see a drunk/stoned/high Melissa swaggering around anytime soon.

As I have said before, the teen angst days are gone and all my stupid suicidal thoughts have been banished.

It wasn't doing any good for me at all. Nothing in my mind grew, only my warped attitude towards life.

I'm glad that all this has changed, because now I feel so much better about my life.

I suppose I have a really screwed up mind. I have two sides. The good and the bad side. I guess everyone does too.

But for me, both sides are constantly at war with each other. So much that I am pushed to tell my bad side to shut up all the time.

Yeah, super odd, but it's true.

That's also why I call myself melissaWAR. (See! Deep right?)

My bad side constantly pushes me to criticise others, do bad stuff and at times, question if God really does exist.

Thankfully, I quickly remember all the blessings in my life and I'm back to the good old faithful Catholic that I am :]

I mean, I'm in no position to comment, but God for me is personal. Someone that I can talk and rely on when everyone has abandoned me.

Some people view others like me as apathetic just because we do not go for fellowship sessions and outwardly proclaim the word of God.

I mean, prayer for me is being all alone in any location and just talking to God about my problems and to place everything in His hands. That's all.

Alright this post has been long enough.

Haha, maybe not. I'm just feeling tired. *evil laugh*

Okay, love to you people out there and spread the belated valentine's day love!

Mwah.

Seven.

2007-01-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

"I have markers, seven different shades of shit.
So what's your favourite colour, punk?"

My inspiration for this post was basically this line *gestures up* from the new B-Side from MCR (the song's 'My Way Home Is Through You', BTW) and this tickle quiz I took a few days back.

It mentioned how I was 'more sinful than an average person'.

I admit it, I am a sinner.

I might have changed for the better in some ways, but I still do have lots of stuff that I'll burn in hell for.

Nahhhhh.

Anyway, I decided to touch on the topic of the Seven Deadly Sins in a rather personal way.

It's really therapeutic digging up the ugly side of yourself.

Trust me, I do that every single day.

Of course, whatever I did was nothing as serious as what the real Sins refer to, but hey, let me reflect a bit here.

Pride

I can be very swollen headed. Yes I know. You don't have to tell me that. I disgust myself with my huge ego at times. I'm not sure if being stubborn is considered as pride, but it is very hard for me to say sorry sometimes...or even give in. I just can't bring myself to admitting that I am wrong. It makes me feel inferior. I sound like a prick, don't I?

Lust

I'd rather keep this personal. Not like I have anything scandalous or x rated to hide, but errrrr...you get it.

Gluttony

Evidence for this would be my fat ass. Well, maybe genes should be 'credited' too, but I was such a pig during those puberty years. I've lost over 5kg from my past weight and am in the healthy weight range, but I still am trying to lose more to eliminate that big bottom of mine. Sheesh.

Sloth

I am the world's biggest procratinator and have the mentality 'Why go out and spend a few useless hours when you could stay home and rot?' I hate doing tedious assignments and try my best to avoid lots of physical activity or anything to do with camps. Funny thing is that I was a Girl Guide. Poor, poor me.

Envy

I am a monster. A green eyed one. I get jealous of people when either I, number 1, don't like them, or number 2, can do something that I have banked all my hopes and dreams on better than me. It's not healthy because envy = unfair criticisms = hate = KABOOM.

Greed

I can't say that I am very guilty of this one because firstly, money isn't something I lust over or am willing to kill someone for. Next, the simplest things in life make me happy. So that's that.

Wrath

Woah. Where do I begin? My close friends should know how angry I can get. Actually, what everyone sees is a very toned down version of myself. You would not want to see me when I am very angry. It ain't pretty. Plus, I dislike people very easily. Just be a total ass and you're blacklisted. But the good thing about me is that I forgive and forget extremely easily too. All you have to do to make me love you again is to just be nice and not be like the douche bag that you were before. Easy peasy.

So that's it eh?

Can't say that this post is super interesting or anything.

But I hope that at least you'd get inspired enough to check back on which of these sins you've commited.

That's all for now, loves.

Ciao.

So take your gloves and get out.

2007-01-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

Yep, it's me again!

This one's gonna be pretty short, because I'm lazy like that.

Anyway, today in Theatre Studies and Drama, we had a script to look at. It was a typical high school bitch gang giving others hell...you know how that goes.

And that makes me wonder.

Why are there such people around?

Regardless of how many movies/books/tv shows etc that depict these horrible people suffering retribution, there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, some clique in every high school that are either bitchy, bimbotic, two faced, or worse, ALL THREE.

I just love how those people could sit through these movies without feeling a pang of guilt or, in an extreme case - suffer a mental breakdown, run to the nearest church (or whatever religious places are around) and offer to serve as a priest/nun/monk/whathaveyous.

But wait.

This is just a GENERAL observation.

I'm not pinpointing any particular clique or whatever.

Honestly, if you feel offended in any way, it's probably your guilty conscience talking. So HA HA.

So...this song goes out to all the pricks in this world.

NOBODY LIKES YOU.

DEAD! - My Chemical Romance

Yeah!

And if your heart stops beating
I'll be here wondering
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end, and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this

Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned.
And wouldn't it be great If we were dead?
All dead.

Tongue-tied and oh so squeamish
You never fell in love
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end, and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this

Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand?
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?

And in my honest observation
During this operation
Found a complication in your heart
So long, 'Cause now you've got (now you've got)
Maybe just two weeks to live
Is that the most the both of you can give?

One, two, one two three four!
LA LA LA LA LA!
LA LA LA LA LA LA!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Well come on,
LA LA LA LA LA!
LA LA LA LA LA LA!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Oh motherf***er,
If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA!)
Then why are we laughing? (LA LA LA LA LA LA!)

If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!)
Then why are we laughing?

If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA!)
Then why are we laughing? (LA LA LA LA LA LA!)

If like ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!)
Then why am I dead?
DEAD!

Peace out, people.

Filler Number One

2007-01-14T21:10:00.000+08:00

"Tell me I'm a bad, bad man."

Alrighty, alrighty.

I've been M.I.A. (Missing In Action, if you didn't know) for quite a while..almost two weeks. Whoa.

So I've been doing great, I found new friends in my new school and they're awesome. But of course, I still miss all the wonderful times I had last year with THAT BUNCH OF PEOPLE (you know who you all are) in school. *tear*

I've promised a rather interesting blog topic to some of you who have talked to me recently, but it was too heavy for my currently lagging brain. SORRY! I'll get it up soon enough, I promise.

Life is good. I have a good life plan that I totally love and I really can't wait to start learning the stuff that's gonna equip me with the knowledge, etc etc.

This post has been called 'Filler' as it really IS a filler because I was feeling guilty about not updating my blog regularly.

I used 'Number One' because I know very well there are gonna be more of these.

I'm such a forward thinker, aren't I?

Okay, enough of this useless nonsense.

I've just watched 'The Exorcism Of Emily Rose' on tv (I'm THAT slow) and it completely spurred on my whole interest in exorcism all over again.

You know, when you watch it as a movie, it still is really hard to imagine it being real although the movie clearly states that it was based on the true story of Anneliese Michel, a young Catholic woman from Germany who died in 1976 due to demonic possession.

So realising that possession is real and can happen to anyone is very scary. VERY.

I am sure that Atheists feel 'Aw, all this demon/angel stuff is built on pure imagination', but with such solid instances and with them happening everywhere, to people with various religions, the reality of heaven and hell is REAL.

Gosh, just reading all this makes me shiver.

I don't think I'll copy/paste the wiki stuff I'm reading now, so I'll just leave some links.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exorcism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demonic_possession

Read them, and then think about how we are all vulnerable.

Sorry if I made you lose sleep or something :]

Mmkay, take care and God bless! Mwah.

This past year...

2006-12-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

"A drink, for the horror that I'm in.

For the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that I've been."

This post would have been so much cooler if I had it done tomorrow at the stroke of midnight (because I'm a dork like that), but I would most probably be asleep by the time it were midnight so...gyea.

2006 has been nothing but amazing for me. It was the year that I got stressed out/depressed/sick the most, but ironically, it was also the year that I learnt the most about myself.

This year was a turning point in the way I think and the way I am going to live my life from now on.

I guess that the past few years I've not been living my life to the fullest. I was also super pessimistic and irritable. As compared to some other more angsty teens, I was pretty mild, but I still hate how it was.

I put the weight of the world on my shoulders and got so heated up in debates that I'd end up crying. That was partly the reason why I have this 'no-no' policy to joining a debate team.

I also got depressed very easily. Thankfully I didn't do any stupid stuff, but now that I think about it, there was really nothing worth getting depressed about. Life is good and I've got so many people around who love and care for me...so how bad could it be?

Right now, after the holidays, which I've used to reflect on myself, I am a brand new person.

Some people might not notice it yet, but give me time to change :]

I realised that nowadays, I am so much more happy and my nightly prayers are not for God to punish XX or to put her/him in his place, but for everyone to be happy as well and for their dreams to be fulfilled. Oh, and this has never been left out, for MCR to come to Singapore. ROFL.

My life seems so much brighter and full of possibilities. I don't get angry with stuff I can never change anymore and I am so much more eager to start learning new things in school so that I could eventually live out my dreams.

Oh, I really think I should thank everyone who has made my year so wonderful. To all my friends, I love you guys sooooo much!!! I know that sometimes I might be a bit sarcastic and sharp, but it's all for the good of you guys. I'm so sorry if I had made you guys hurt in any way...I really, really didn't mean it. You all mean the world to me and thank you for helping me out of the dark times!!! We better keep in contact okay? Mwah!

Mmkay, now for my new year resolutions...honestly, I never really felt the need for them all my life, but I really think that 2006 should be the year I start.

1) Swear less.

2) Slack less.

3) Continue to be straight edge.

4) Be more optimistic.

5) Be completely true to myself.

6) Be brutally honest to what I have to change in myself.

7) Keep myself in check from time to time.

8) Be less critical and more accepting.

Yep. That's it. I hope everyone keeps to their resolutions as I would (hope to) keep mine.

That's all from me in this wonderful year. I wish everyone well and have a happy new year!

Mwah!

Tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave.

2006-12-16T19:09:00.000+08:00

"I know a thing about contrition,
because I've got enough to spare."

A brand new blog URL.

Surprised?

I can just imagine you going 'Why, Melissa? You've got too much time on your hands?'

Nope.

The thing is, when I was doing some self reflection last night, a pang of guilt struck me. It made me question if I was being a hypocrite and just another angsty teenager. Of course, the irony of it all lies in that I was so blatently condemning the uselessness of teen angst when I myself was blogging as a very fired up, pissed off (and sometimes vulgar) young adult.

The reason I started that blog was actually a devious avenue to boost my own ego. Yes. It was also due to my constant urge to change people and the way they think. Looking back, I've realised all the posts had an angry/sarcastic tone. Why? Well, basically I looked at the blog as a way to vent my anger and annoyance. When I was happy, I didn't give two hoots to blog because, well, the sensationalism of an excited 16 year old was just as much as staring at a brick wall. But when I was angry, I could go on and on about the matter, while throwing in some dramatic (and extremely frivolous) phrases here and there. Let's face it, people are more interested in controversy than contentment.

I was sinking into a vicious cycle of constant criticism of other people. All I did was point out and nitpick on the bad points in others but ignored the bad points IN MYSELF.

I have asked myself why I am so easily annoyed at bad behaviour. I owe all of it to my continuous urge to change the world into a better place. While that idea might reek of pomposity, I actually thought that I could chide people into changing.

I was wrong.

Very wrong.

The thing is, people NEVER change when you ask them to. I know, because I am like that myself. Being the stubborn, narcissistic person I am, when orders are shoved into my face and I am forced to be someone I don't want to, I simply refuse to budge. I might tolerate and do the task, but deep inside, I know very well that I did it out of sheer obligation.

I believe everyone is the same. People change only when THEY THEMSELVES WANT TO.

I was sick of being preachy and having my advice fall on deaf ears. I used to like to think I was doing a favour for the person but I have since realised my inability to do so. The only person I could ever change is myself. No one else.

I am fallible and I make mistakes. Maybe even more mistakes than those people whom I have denounced.

Right now, with the help of my rumination and possibly divine intervention, I am starting afresh. I am going to banish the demons in my mind. They have made me into someone who is constantly at war with myself and who gets persistent nightmares due to negative vibes. So, what better way to begin than to start a new blog?

Before I end my long sob story (LOL), I would like to apologise to anyone who had felt the brunt of my immature, callous remarks and came across my shameless use of certain explicitives. It really wasn't my intention to be so vulgar. It does not give any respect to both the readers and myself. It made me into any other foul-mouthed hooligan you'd find on the streets. So I'm cutting down (and hopefully off) my use of them. I am urging anyone else who uses them casually to refrain from using them as well. You deserve all the respect you get, so why make people lose their reverence of you just because of one or two vulgarities?

Ah, here I go, preaching again. ROTFL.

This post has been long enough. I thank you for the time you took out to read it. You can carry on with your life now :]

P.S. I would love to thank My Chemical Romance for being my 'background music' when I was reflecting. And also for making me optimistic when I got emotional.